1/22/24 slept :)

 Today we celebrate two birthdays in the family, so happy birthday! We celebrate birthdays with a breakfast at the lodge. In this case, it was for these peeps. One is grateful for the life of doggy that is still here :) I like that :)

Had my card fixed at the office. Don't put it in the same place as the phone, please. Okay, then... Our fav waitress celebrates her hubby's new job and we also celebrate our son's new company owner that will also boost his salary with profit sharing, yay.

So many things to be thankful for :)

Steven is off to the hardware store for legal bug stuff to put on the lawn. Saw a run of turkeys this morning by the lodge :)

Today would be a good day for a bike ride, I think. Wet weather and mosquitoes... I have bites this year that are not fun. Glad to have my meds for the reaction on hand.

Later... Just came home from the gym. Used the upper body seated weight machine with zero added weight. That worked out. Also used bands for upper body muscles. Also stretched on the table. Used my car cushion for sitting stuff. So much more comfy. The heart machine seat is bad. I think things are wearing out. Been here more than 2 years now. I feel the difference. It was enough and feels like another cup of coffee in the afternoon.

All the stuff I've been listening to on health all point to some kind of exercise, minus anything that bugs diabetes and therefore the feet. Steven's massaging my feet every night now. 

I told Steven something that occurred to me of late. Surgery needs us to have muscle to ease the cutting and healing. At our ages, we easily lose muscle that can come back, but we need it to be there anytime these days. I love our gym. Only a few people there in the early evenings. The older folks tend to be asleep when we go, and we've noticed the gym being busy anytime from 6am to about 6pm. We can also use the dance room to dance. Not tonight. Steven can do one thing, but not the two. He already walks for an hour or more with Gimli in the mornings. I'm asleep at that time.

Orchestrating our exercise isn't too bad. Glad we took dance lessons for a year because we dodge each other in the kitchen every day. Easy to get out of the way in a pinch. 

We missed one dance signup which is a shame. I had it taped on the breakfast bar, but we missed it anyway. Being February 23, we thought we had time... Oops.

1/21/24 Slept

 Good Sunday service with my heart trending the same way as Bethel's heart. Even their wanting to bring us closer into the fold is great. I don't know if that's what we will do, at our age and at our place in health... They are looking for mobile folks and ones that can  do more than we can at this point. Something to face, maybe something that can be understood and comprehended by Bethel folks.

Today is a playoff that we will view with daughter together from across the continent. Thankful that she's reached her next birthday across the country.

RV hunting resumes. Steven thinks maybe a vanagon will work because it fits in the garage. Wisdom of the builders of these communities. They make just enough room for a small RV to hide; a tent trailer or a van conversion that isn't higher than 7 feet. Voila.

1/20/24 Slept

 Steven's napping. Did the gym today. Haven't remembered to do that. Had to  tell Gimli to "leave it" so Steven can nap in peace. He's up once a night for him as it is. A nap isn't too much to ask.

How am I doing today? Listened to a talk about dementia from Dr Berg. Symptoms. Yikes. I get those when I don't get enough sleep. That doesn't count. Steven's slowness and having trouble finding words is something. I have to hit the brakes when he talks. Just wait.

Forgetting to remind baby sis to eat lately. Oops. Doing French here and there. Trying to stay present is a thing. Easy for me to fade. 

Started doing the  taxes today. Lost track of time, but feel like I got something done. This year required an all new spreadsheet because of the restart. 

As I ponder our new location and status quo (whatever that means), I think about our dotage being the first time we are comfortably cared for, amidst relatives who have always been in this position. It's new for us. We've been like Lawnmower Man, clueless to this lifestyle and suddenly surrounded by it and those who were here long before us as we clunked down awkwardly in their  midst. 

Suddenly, we can help our desperate kids, while their cousins flourished these last 20 years of their adulthood. Weird to think that we were thrown to the wolves and survived so sparsely, until now. With our son, well, he suffered brain damage that affects his life. He doesn't want that disability status and the pills that comes with it. Good for him. He lives in a rental truck and has had that status for many years now. His job now has come after so many years of bad jobs, but he didn't seek retraining. His brain won't go there, nor did he believe he could pass any classes. Sigh. 

Our daughter is high strung and would love to do massage school that costs serious money nowadays. It was once $800, but Obama laws made it so it was $23k. Many people hide in their livelihoods. Daughter won't hide. She's just frustrated by his naive laws. Son was affected by them as well. A crack mechanic with beyond normal skills, only college for him can fix it. Both can't do that. No brains for it. Therefore, the rich get richer, like the cousins; like Steven's siblings. White privilege life. When your white father decides to disown you in order to become rich, well, even a white guy can't get ahead. Look what it took for this white guy to not make it and to catch up. His health is affected. But the girls are happy and chatty having always been given everything on a silver platter. 

Hard not to remember how we got here. You really have to push forward and not be afraid of the man who is your boss. Unless you have that paid for degree, of course. Paper talks.

Anyway, we enter this realm of living, our fault for moving to where people like his siblings would live. The difference is there is no dream place to go because we must stick close to the hospital who is trained painstakingly in his case. 

I guess I don't mind. I'm tired. It's been really hard. Have the grandkids and enjoy yourselves, folks. I wonder how you did it while you saw what was happening to your bro? They're just glad he made it in middle age. Finally.

We didn't waste it. We learned lots  of  lessons, like this life is fragile. You are at the mercy of your parents. Then your parents are at your mercy. May we do them well anyway. 

My kids are at our mercy. It would be fun to see them comfortable. That's what Nancy did for her kids. She  saw to their comfort and they were so much happier in their own place. Nancy faded to the background, and maybe it didn't turn out as she wished, but she lived a very long life and got to see them succeed. That was nice.

So daughter needs to be certified. 

So will need to prove he won't quit life again. It's easy to live in a van, but the outlaws there make it stressful. Would love to see him get his own place in the country. Maybe that will be next.

1/19/24 Slept :)

 Alarm clock worked today and I was up and ready to go to the chiropractor and also check out a new donut place that was just the best. Took home half my breakfast sandwich. Who needs that much croissant? Can't believe we got croissants at this donut shop :) They gave us an extra donut that was yummy.

Got a mystery solved. All is well. Then our son called for emergency funds that we actually had to bless him with. Yay. His new schedule has kicked in after a 3 month transfer of ownership ordeal was resolved and he gets an up in pay starting in February. Awesome :) Funny when kids end up using skills that they got from home to make a decent living...

Next mystery to solve is coming up as well. We're all on a new adventure, it seems, at the same time :) Was biting my tongue to express my gratitude about it all at the BS group. Kinda silly for one couple who inherited and are flush as heck :) Love it when families bless kids, hence we get to do that for our kids. Being saved means we don't resist the enthusiasm to bless people, or be good to people, no matter what. 

Smelled up the house with homemade diabetic/keto crackers. Mmmm... the smell is ahmazing. Almost cooled... These are great. That reminds me, I need to look up  an electric grater for cheese. Steven's hands need a rest. We did discover that our mini food processor is just the right size for grating hard cheese like mozzarella and cheddar blocks. It never occurred to me to grate cheese to make a cheese ball. Duh :)

Listened to  SugarMD a bit tonight. His snack recipe. Have to remember to get goat yogurt. 

How am I doing? Happy today. Not preoccupied with at least one mystery that has good results. Adding to my grocery list for snacks. Steven loves his football season but needs help in the snack area. Who doesn't at our age?

One thing to remember is that along with this keto quality food thing is that fasting is a thing for it and to be careful with carbs anyway for diabetes control. I'm wearing my mosquito net, which is surprisingly hot. Steven's been down for 2 hours now. 

How's caregiving for me? I'm okay. We have about 2 months to our April heart appointment and they will decide to do a third heart surgery/intervention/non-invasive or not. His tests last year cautioned him ready for this next appointment. He seems okay, except for that annoying set of new symptoms. Seems like these major fixes last 4 to 6 years. So pleasantly surprised at how much we are able to do on medicare. Just stick to the insurance that covers the great hospitals in the area. Pay close attention and you're fine. And that supplement is helpful as well. Tricky that it only supplements those procedures covered by Medicare. So far, it's reasonable in its limitations. Meanwhile, Steven got an advert for cremation services that he had to share, a bit awkwardly. Who wants to be thinking about that?

1/18/24 Slept :)

 Had a cheap date at the Greek place. Tues and Thurs are 2 gyros for 1. Cheapest meal we've had in forever :)

Heard from my brother's widow, who is going forward her way, contacting me her way, etc. Just a time for me to listen. No problem if I remember that fact.

SS court date set for on Magda's bday. Ola's court date set for the end of the month. May we all be justified :)

I tend to process with Ola, but she tends to half listen. Easy to notice, at least I process sometime. Usually here.

French is so slow for me, but I do learn. MCT Wellness restarted this morning, after listening to Dr. Gundry go on about it. Forgot I had it here. Weaning onto it and will work up to 1 scoop from 1 tsp. So glad it's not coconut based.

Steven's newest bass learning book came today, yay. My new long sleeved tops will be here soon as well. Funny that he smirks when a package is at the door. "Most likely yours, since I didn't order anything," which is always wrong. My tops will come and I'm increasing my wardrobe with my new weight. Haven't been this small in decades. I still love my loose clothing.

Washing throw rugs for tonight. Gimli bugs me for attention while Steven manages the floors.

Hebrew letters being learned as they say to learn them; writing them out a hundred times. I'm past that now, but I appreciate writing things out. Flash cards work that way for me. It's not so much the oral repetition as it is the writing things out slowly.

Our situation is changing by next week sometime. Talked about putting off the RV, but Steven really wants to move that forward. What about hoteling it in Redding? Now, the rates are low. They go up with conferences happening. We do the conferences at half speed for full price to be with Gimli. Still have to know where to camp. While we can, we can actually hotel it.

Almost time for our BS to begin. 

It's hard not to  be excited about receiving, but I tend to avoid that. I  don't receive well. I inadvertently practiced receiving at the dentist office yesterday. Would you like aromatherapy? Yes, thank you. What scent? People love lavender. Ew, not me. Peppermint will be nice, thank you.

Weird to receive, but that's eternity, full of receiving and giving. Thanks, Papa. 

Up past the alarm that didn't sound today, I had thoughts of our son living with an old teacher's widow. It might work out. Seems like it should, but that's what I thought when he came last. He wouldn't work nor would he leave. His girlfriend was the same in attitude. I don't want this 80 year old gal to have to deal with him. He's still not shown me that he can be trusted to keep working after moving in. She knows him, too.

Later...

Had a good  study. A linear one, but people like that here. Good for Steven to do something new. Good for me to need to let him. The vine and the branches.

Need to sign off for the night.

Thank You, Jesus. It's all about You.

1/17/24 Slept :)

 Aligners have to stay in for another week, as of today. Oh well. Today is tooth cleaning day. Warm winter day here. Love it. Also an exercise day. Chewing on my chewy now. No given time for increase of those. It's a constant learning experience for my dentist. I like chewing longer, she's against it. Today, she's for it. She doesn't trust me when I say these aligners are in for 22 hours a day. Hate the weekly reminders to do it all these months long. Yes, dear, I am doing what you said. Too much like being with the siblings who insist I was something I wasn't. I'm sure talking to stoner bro convinces them. Hey, he's been stoned since age 12. He constantly brings up early teen stuff. The only thing little sis reminds me of is one occasion where I was hungry and took food. Malnutrition does that. Still dealing with the after effects. She knew that experience too, but didn't steal food. She was #5 and I was #2. 

Not looking forward to today's cleaning with mean round gal. Ugh. I know there's a shortage since Covid19, and it's hard for my dentist to tolerate her as well.

Glad to be okay to do a birthday thing with daughter just before the day turns. 

I forgot why I'm writing today. Sigh.

Tomorrow is BS night. Steven is ready for it. I was reminded that Smith Wigglesworth didn't take up his ministry until he was retired. I think my husband is doing that now. Makes me cooperate with stepping back. I'm ahead of him in so many ways because ministry was my life for these last 48 years. His was airplanes. It's okay to let him do what he likes with our group. College man style. I pray he can internalize what he's teaching as well. We've both been spirit-filled since the 80's. That's 40 something years... Time flies.

Later...

Dentist went so well, I wonder what's been up with little round gal since 2022? Maybe she went to retread school.

Steven is out fetching keto ice cream for tonight. We have two days before the solved mystery meat is in. Then we have the kind of known mystery meat for next week. 

RV quest is slowing up for us. Seems that things are a bit different than we thought, for the better. Maybe we can wait. I think we forge forward because of our unknown near future. If that surprises us in any way, that will also make a difference with our future plans. This year brings with it end planning and differing insurance. We are happy to go forward. He's a good guy. He planned so much without me. It's good to know what's going on :)

1/16/24 Slept :)

 Today, we checked out the Paris Baguette franchise near to us. Impressed by the decor, not impressed by anything else, really. Sigh. It's disappointing to find that you can make these goods at home and better. Too much bread. A smithering  of spread of anything. Never had an apple tart so scant of apple. Almost couldn't taste it for lack of it at all.

But we tried. I dressed up French Style, which I kind of had pieces of. something stripped black and white vertically, and I was in good company. Will return for a coffee cake one day, but for takeout. It's huge for the forty bucks it'll cost. Steven would rather have BR. I can make a keto version of anything in there, but I was kindly reminded of things I've forgotten all about, like the rainbow cake. Again, so much bread for a basic egg sandwich. Cheese cake that was mostly cake. 

Cake. Yeah. Just what I can't have. Brought home the cheesecake. Can pick at it, I guess. New York cheese cake is so much better. And instant cheeseless cheesecake is the best.

I thought about a french steak. Same as here, but with a wine sauce. Yeah, I can do that.

Found out a day early what this month's extra is and it's nice. In time to gift daughter for her birthday. Yay. It makes Steven redo the budget for this month in his own abstract way. It's okay, when I do it, it makes sense only to me, apparently. We are different, like our art work in class :) Sometimes people notice that.

My breakfast counter has taped on its edges the upcoming events we look forward to enjoying, one in April. The others in February. I think we're done for this month. How did that happen? Oh, yeah, the masked ball is coming up.

Listening to diabetes talks on YouTube and making sure I know what to do and take. I felt funny this morning, a bit dizzy, too. All these morning carb too meals need to be verified as okay, and I'm saying before 11am. Plus I take one diabetic supplement. 

RV videos are fun. Steven won't be doing a custom RV. Looks like we'll find something that he can stand in. Can't break the bank. Fun to look. Others experimented with them and move on to their next RV. We'll take the previous one, sir, thankyouverymuch.

Meat day for us. Bison in the sink, defrosting the rest of the way. Mmmmm... when we eat out too much, it's because we're not getting the right foods.

Fun dressing up today. A muslim gal was dolled up in French attire today. We are such a diverse people :)

The gym last night was good for us, for me, since it's the only exercise I get, other than a 10 minute block walk in the evening, shrouded in my bug net. Feel good about the bug net. Even if they're in the house, I can just grab the bug net and not be bothered. I need to look up this biting mini moth looking bug.

Later... didn't find the bug. Don't know what to say.

Bison burgers tonight, badly done, thanks, Steven. Dealing with his brain these days isn't fun. Bad breakfast followed by bad dinner. Yuck. I'm hungry. Need protein. Didn't get much today, except for in the milk that had a lot of natural sugar. Good grief. Give me goat kefir, anyday.

He's put on notice. But he doesn't learn, so this beautiful meat is bleah. No wonder he doesn't want  to  eat it. My mom loves my cooking. He does, too, but he doesn't retain memory for doing anything newer than 20 years old.

Frustrated, anyone? Yeah. I'll be fine after I eat. I made veggies to go with the meat and sat down away from the cook. Nobody asked him. He's like a four year old who just does whatever and whenever.