Insight on being a parent

Papa has said to be a certain kind of parent. To be cognizant that you must impart certain things in your kids; to not spoil them by neglecting to teach them that Papa is Provider and nurturer; to believe Him about these important truths that they must begin to know early in years. If you fail to impart wisdom in your kids, they are set up to learn it all the hard way. And they reach out to you in adulthood and demand they have their way via, well, you. You have the money now, so why not?

Because we are not Provider. We depend on Papa for it all. No matter how much money happens to be in our possession.

This is the hard part of being a parent of an adult child. We must sit on our hands and let them flail until they realize Papa is near, and know for themselves that He loves them so deeply.

I wonder about what kids are really like at heart as young adults. How much impartation really sticks with them. How much is learned by hard knocks, and how much they believed of what they were taught. They believe what we believed from the heart. We pass only our hearts along. If that much.

We will soon move away and leave our 30 year old son to himself. He is well trained, but loathe to be on his own. He has had a couple of near death experiences; one was his own fault. He has almost been married. He's a father. He plays computer games and is antisocial for the most part. He has chosen not to be educated formerly. He must reap what he's sown. He won't move out. And it's time for us to go.

My mother experienced the same thing with one son. But she and dad were mostly absent emotionally from us. It's no surprise that they lost the son that was spoilt. That I would have the same experience is unacceptable. As parents, we knew Papa at a young age and read everything we could get our hands on to make sure we did right by our kids. Maybe it happened because he is adopted.

I have pondered the effects of society on our kids. Our son is just like the local boys. We live in the lowest rating state in the US for education. Yet its people believe they are superior to everyone else. That Jesus will return first to Hawaii. No need to know the Word, to apply oneself. Not something I ever taught my kids. But I have a 2nd child, a daughter, seven years younger, who got out of here at age 18, and whose change in environment has made a huge difference in her outlook. She grew up with values she doesn't remember having been taught. She hates the young men of this place, for they are childish and mean. Or else they are legalistic and have deep issues and outbursts they cannot explain. It is an Asian culture (85%), with a growing resentment of the mainlanders who have "stolen" their island. Yikes. It's time to move. Fifteen years is long enough. I'm ready to go. To leave my son to himself, to the culture he has embraced, though its people will never embrace him. It's matriarchal and haughty, and very tribal. The foolishness never ends. I'm weary of it.

I'm a mainland parent, a first generation believer in Papa's ways. There is no place for me here. I had ministry from 1996 to about 2003. I brought in what I could. They tasted it, but mostly, they spit it out. I'm at a place of wiping my feet and moving on. My part is done. I look forward to getting back to a healthy culture, to making friends and starting over. Papa, take us to Bellevue. Adam has to grow up. He will when we're gone. I'm grateful I don't have to see it happen.