Up early this morning, around 6:30am :) Good enough... I was awake for an hour before rising. I think it was the sun creeping through the top of the ill-fitting saggy cover on the door that shone in my eyes.
Or, it was yesterday's binge day. We had macaroons with decaf in the afternoon. Those were too sweet. I go by SugarMD who says eat a little sugar, but I had plenty at brunch yesterday, eating my chocolate croissant with a waffle, fruit, a quiche with a thick breaded liner, a cup of apple non alcoholic wine, etc. Yeah, not diabetic in a non-diabetic, yet nurse's home.
No respect is all I can say.
There are certain ways we must behave as believers, which was also true for the Hebrews. The Jewish folks:
Love everyone, no matter what and seek to bring them into the Kingdom.
Don't shun believers because their children struggle.
Don't judge. You don't know where they are in their journey with God.
I've heard pastors say that of late. Because I'm on the dense side of comprehending stuff these days, it finally occurred to me that they are defending folks like myself. Even my sisters condemn me. I try to hang onto them, but they see it as charity to me.
This won't happen ever again in Heaven. I can understand why Marty just decided to give up on this family, this world.
But the reason God told us not to give up on each other was because it's an easy and evil thing to do. That's why I didn't give up on my brother, ever. We just can't. We were made to be a family that grows and grows. Mothers and fathers everywhere, treating people like their own newborn infants. Love inconceivable. I appreciate the church, the variety of people that naturally point out the strengths and weaknesses in us all. When I find a weakness in myself, it's because of others being around me. Not because they make some religious point by shunning me.
I hear this happening to Brian Simmons as he gets the Word translated as it should be, from the Hebrew cultural point of view.
I went around a bend this week, higher up in that sheep path as described in Israel, toward the Kingdom, realizing where I share that path with others.
Yesterday, I realized that because of where I spend the larger part of my day and evening, makes a difference. I want to run forward, past my husband, and I guess I did that inadvertently. I'm actually looking back on him, not wanting to wait for him to catch up anymore. His head is where it is, within this world's trappings: airplanes, money, worry about money, football, then he spends some time with Jesus in the morning, in his 5 minute daily word routine. He fits in well with our BS folks, but I don't. He's as critical with me as they are. What's up with that? The worry, the skepticism of this world, the lack of faith, hope and love, in general. I feel like maybe I'm in this group to remind them to speak blessings on those they worry negatively, hopelessly about.
I guess the other thing is that when it's our turn to host, I generally think that should be me teaching and not the one spending his time in the flesh. But he fights to lead, to do it from a place of insecurity and struggling to communicate, suddenly toward a place of teaching believers something new and not having anything to new to say, and when he does, he's really upset. Because he has no clue in his place of willful ignorance.
Sigh. This is my area of strength, but he fights me for it. Is it the degree'd thing? Like daughter says, that the formally educated don't see your value unless you're degree'd?
Degree'd folks do secular school for 4 years or maybe six or eight after high school. I've done the hard work since I was in high school. Since salvation. I love the Word. I can't get enough of it. I can only learn so much in a day. I get it. It's my passion. But first, the flesh degree? How about 49 years of studying the Word. Why doesn't that count?
Ridiculous judgments abound in this world among believers.
I know that whatever I'm learning daily will be with total recall in Heaven. I think it makes a huge difference in life, how we see things, how we listen to God's voice here and forever.
I guess it's like rearing your children. Steven wasn't there for them and is rarely there for them now. But I was there for them. I still am. I check in on them. Steven thinks that leaving them blood money makes up for still not having a relationship with them. What we invest of ourselves matters. He doesn't believe that. Yet God and people are the two commandments Jesus points out. We must love God and people.
How do we choose things over people?
Later...
Worship, teaching, super :) TLV is in my life. I ordered two family bibles, written by Jewish Believers for Messianic Jewish folks, from Genesis to Revelation. My Christmas gift to us. It's bigger and hard bound, and I'm hoping will be easier to read. The soft leatherette cover looks smaller, but I like the tabs inset. Maybe next time I will get us a set of other bibles offered with that 14p and 13p font. I just want to have whatever copies in the house. Another way to go to Israel without going :) Jack Hayford recommended.
Even the gal promoting it is like me in personality. Strong and firm in her beliefs and exasperation with having been misunderstood or untaught about things like the dradle. Yep. Time to correct this stuff. That's for 2024, too, to my pleasant surprise :)
I asked for more and this is what I got. Thanks, Papa :)
Today, I reached my original goal date for weightloss. This, after a day of brunching (yesterday), which followed a day of switching breakfast and dinner, but skipping one meal.
This diet?
1 meal, whenever it is.
1 protein drink.
1 protein bar.
Moderate carb intake.
Fasting is almost daily because of the break being so long between an early dinner (3:30pm) to next day's morning drink (around 11am). That's 37 1/2 hours fasting. A natural for us. As my old friend's grown up daughter says, it's the fasting. I love having this in common with her, since her mom died at 55 years of age due to being out of control in her croissants eating and she, being heavy, too, fights it. We have Metabolic diet and exercise in common from before my pelvic rebuild, so I don't do that anymore, to our eating like this in common. She's carnavoire and I'm keto. Success for her now 5 years. We don't talk about it. She's very narrow in mindset, but a believer. We married in the church she grew up kind of in, but her parents were YWAMer fans that they retired and joined after he retired. The daughter married a pastor from Indiana and he's retired. Their kids are kind of outside of the path, but fully grown. One married in his 30's. Anyway, she manages to concentrate fully on her weightloss journey and maintenance thereof. It's just another of those God meetings I understand.
So yay, me, for the weightloss. May I continue on down to a less pudgy middle, but not too low.
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